I was spending some time going about my day praying over things going on in our life right now. Then my uncle wrote this. It very much mirrored what I was thinking that day--minus the Israelite analogy, but the principles were there.
I know I have a habit of rushing in to things due to excitement, vision, etc. I had just been thinking that lately I was slowing down in that area and starting to see the wisdom in it. When I was in college, I swore I would never become one of those adults who lost my passion and therefore moved slowly on things--needing time to ponder, meditate and pray. Craziness, I know. In my youth, I could not fathom that one could still be passionate AND wait on God. That was beyond me. It's starting to become clear--I'm pretty sure I have a long way to go. Being a parent now is helping with that. Nugget gets SO EXCITED she doesn't know what to do with herself so she runs in circles. How many times have I done that and God is just there waiting for me to pay attention? My baby girl has a way of pointing out to me what God needs me to do or be or not be.
Uncle Rick's second and third points closely mirrors this article by Kate. Sometimes we need these hard times to remind us we NEED God--desperately, with every breath we take. This is the second time for me that a hard time has hit us in the midst of a pregnancy--even worse at the end of our pregnancy. You know what that does to me? Makes me depend on God. I am a very self-sufficient person (I know for those of you who know me well, you're rolling your eyes at the understatement). I can do it. I say that all the time. Right now? I can't do it. I can't fix it. I can't work hard and make it go away. I am slowing down. My time is coming. My solution--God HAS to do it. These will be beautiful lessons to pass on to my babies. Maybe their desert times will be eased by seeing God work through mine. I am also grateful to Kate for reminding me of a wonderful book/allegory that has helped me in desert times in the past, Hinds Feet on High Places. I think I may be due to read it again.
I truly have no idea where God is taking us but I do know that this hard time has a purpose. I will trust in that. Today I did some reading on thankfulness.
- Colossians 2:7: This helped me meditate on the fact that my overflowing thankfulness is not to come because my life is ok but because of being grounded in Him.
- Colossians 3:15: Letting His peace rule in my heart leads to thankfulness, not my circumstances.
- Colossians 4:2: The more I pray, the more thankful I will be. I should be prayerful and thankful not prayerful and "get-me-ful."