Held

Held
by Christa Wells

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that Providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who died to live, it's unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lillies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it us ti be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it us ti be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

This song, from Natalie Grant's new album "Awaken", has really hit home for me. It seems like for my family we've had nothing but one tragedy after another for the last two years. It's like a dark cloud has hung over us. Each time we put our game faces on and say, "Ok, God, what do you want me to learn this time?" We figure God allows each hard thing for a reason and He has something for us to learn. Now, we'd rather not go through this again so we try to listen and learn so as not to have to be taught it again. But they keep coming. And coming. And coming. Yet I read the words to this song and I think, "Why do I think that we're too special to go through suffering and sorrow?" People go through it around the world every day. Places like Iraq, China, Africa--the tragedies never stop there. He promises to hold us, not calm all of our waves.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, beacause you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. . . . Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will recieve the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." James 1:2-4, 12


I want to be complete, not lacking in anything. I just never thought about how hard and heart-wrenching the process would be. Maybe that's a good thing, if we know ahead of time the hardships we'd face, we may have never started down the road of righteousness. All I can say right now is "Hold me, Jesus, hold my family. We need you."


Beth Moore writes in her study "A Heart Like His", "When tragedy hits, if we cast ourselves on the Savior and rely on Him for the very breath we draw, we will one day get up again. We will even have the strength to comfort another mourner. Perhaps most difficult to fathom, we will have the strength to return to worship." She goes on to ask, "Do you remember ever returning to the Lord in worship after a painful loss you believe He could have stopped? If so, . . . describe some of the feelings you experienced at that time." I remember after Micah went home, all I could do is cry. Maybe sing one or two words, but it was all tears--for weeks. Somehow I knew God and could validate the songs in a deeper, more acute way. It overwhelmed my broken soul. This new grief that has entered our family, is heavier and deeper and worse, I believe, than a baby going home. All I can pray is "God help them!" I can't even think about it too long without becoming physically ill. It has caused me to plead "Come quickly, Lord Jesus. Come quickly." Before, I was hesitant, I wanted to see more come to know the Lord--I was afraid for those I knew who didn't yet know Him. But now, this tragedy that happens worldwide daily, the sexual exploitation of children, has hit home and I want it all to end--everywhere, forever. Come quickly , come now, Jesus.

Reading: Learning to Breathe Again: Choosing Life and Finding Hope After a Shattering Loss by Tammy Trent