Jesus and Godly Friendships

That was the sermon title last night. It really got me thinking. Here is a synopsis of his points so you can understand where I'm going with this. The text was Mark 2: 1-12. You will be able to download the sermon here (it usually takes a few days). His main points were:

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE GODLY FRIENDS . . .

• WHEN THEY GET INVOLVED IN YOUR PARALYSIS v. 3, Js 2:14-16, Ro 12:15
  
• WHEN THEY ARE DESPARATE FOR YOU TO BE IN FRONT OF JESUS v.4, 2 Ti 2:10, Col 1: 28-29
  
• WHEN THEY ENTRUST THEIR LIMITE ABLITIES TO THE UNLIMITED POWER OF CHRIST v.4-5 (there was a lot of expounding on this point, I suggest you listen to the sermon—it'll be worth it!)
  
• WHEN THEY CELEBRATE AND WORSHIP JESUS FOR HIS REDEEMING WORK IN YOUR LIFE
  

Anyway, he ended with a challenge to be involved in godly friendships—challenging us to be godly friends. He asked who our four friends were. I was so blessed to see that during the "trash dump" time (in our service anyway) there were a lot of men dealing with stuff. Women usually see the importance of deep (though not always godly) friendships and men can struggle with that more.

All that to say, it has made me think of my friends past, present, and (with a possible move) future. First my past. I had 4 best friends in high school—my sister, Kim; Sara, Lisa and Jess. We went through a lot together and spent a lot of time in prayer together. We walked through all the drama of high school, the terminal illness of one of our cousins, Kim and I lost two uncles (one who knew the Lord and one who didn't), losing our youth pastor to a church plant, and early in college the loss of Sara's father. Our lives have gone separate ways but we stay in touch. Kim and Sara have both lost sons. Lisa is expecting her first child. Jess and her husband adopted 3 Russian siblings who didn't know English at first and have lots of baggage from orphanage life. We all married wonderful, godly men. I would be a different person if not for them and how they lived those points out in my life.

Also past are my friends from college—Natha, Amy, and Leanne. They are such amazing women, striving to live lives that honor our Lord. I am in constant amazement every time I hear from one of them. They were there when my cousin finally went to meet Jesus; when I was overwhelmed with working full time, being a full time student, and still not making ends meet; when Sara's dad died; when I broke up with my first boyfriend; and all the drama that comes with being young and in college. They loved on me, encouraged me, kept bitterness at bay, and pointed me to Jesus.

My present has two facets. First, my family—my mom, Kim, Nikki, and my SIL, Tiffany. These women are a-maz-ing! I know that they will always be there for me. Just by their example alone I am pushed in front of Jesus. My mother is living proof that Jesus can change and heal anyone. Kim has walked through overwhelming grief with more grace than anyone I have ever met. Nikki has taught me so much about perseverance through real physical, draining pain and did it all with joy and purpose. Tiffany teaches me about the redemptive power of our Lord—how to accept forgiveness and to live in dignity and humility afterwards. I would be lost without them and long to have them a part of my daily life. I am also "wise" enough to just be grateful to have them at all.

My other present—Amanda, Sarah, Amy, Marisa, Penny. Amanda has walked through so many things with me. I have seen Jesus get a hold of her heart and change her in so many beautiful ways. It makes me get on my face before the Lord and ask Him to work in me the same way. Sarah is new to my circle of friends—she's only been around for a year or so. She teaches me so much about loving others as they are and about intentionally bringing them Jesus. Amy is daily becoming like Jesus. I want to be like that. Marisa I don't talk to near enough but whenever I do I know I am in a safe place—I can share my most intimate struggles with her and know she will love and pray for me. Penny is my hero. She loves Jesus, loves nursing, gets me in trouble (and vice versa), and has walked the "marriage without children road" much longer than me with such amazing grace and peace. She is willing to go to dangerous places to care for those who are sacrificing so much for us. She is light in a very dark place. For a "quiet" person who is not a "social butterfly" she constantly shows me how to get inside people and really know them. There are so many more from my house church (past and present)—Kristi, Kelly, Holly, Amber, Amy, Tracey; but this is already a small novel.

I left the sermon challenged and praising God. I pray you, my friends, have such a list. If not, go out on a limb and make some. They may not look like you. They may be a lot older or younger than you. You may get rejected a few times—try anyway. We are to be known by our love.

Dreaming

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I have nightmares every night. Last night I came home from work exhausted, hurting and sick. I took a bath and went straight to bed. Then, strangely enough, I had one of the best dreams I've had in a long time. It was one of those amazing weather days—sunny, warm but not too warm. We were at "home" but "home" was unique because we shared a yard with my parents. Our dogs were playing in the large yard—as my parents recently lost their dog, this was a new one I haven't met yet. My sister, Nikki, called and wanted to know if I wanted to go on walk. She was taking her dog for a walk and wanted to know if Kenya and I wanted to join them. Apparently, they only live a couple blocks away in this dream. I remember thinking "Wow, it's so great to live this close together. This is so much fun." Then I woke up—sick, with a headache, to the rainy, dreary day OH has to offer and my family all 1000 miles away. Maybe I can nap soon and find another "happy place" instead of the usual scary place I usually find—especially given how "scary" my awake world is today. :-D

You’ve Been Warned

I just thought that I should warn you, blogworld, January is my month to be homesick. I reserve this right each and every year. Now in this space I will try to focus on the fun times I just had with my family and spare you all the tears and whining (that's what my husband is for). However good my intentions, though, it may leak through here and there and I just thought you should know.

It's tough to live 1000 miles away from your family. You miss things like your oldest niece changing from a baby to a "helpful" big sis and a diva. You miss your elfish nephew changing into a devilish 2 year old who knows how to use his dimples to avoid a scolding. I will miss my nephew finally figuring out that he really doesn't need anyone to help him walk. I will miss being there when my new niece/nephew arrives. I will not be able to go shopping with my mom or throw dinner parties with my SIL. I will miss my other nephew finally deciding to become mobile and crawling (or maybe he'll surprise us all and go straight to walking). I am amazed each year at what an amazing man my brother is, what a sweetheart my SIL is, what great brothers my BIL are, and what good moms my sisters are. Not that I don't think these things any other time of the year, it's different seeing it in person. By being this far away, one just misses out on all the intimate details you know by living life together. Each year I realize how much gets left out of the e-mails, blogs, facebook and phone calls. Most times of the year, I am focused on what God has me doing here in OH and am just grateful for how many varied ways we have for staying in touch. It helps as each sibling has such a different personality. There is a method for each sibling.

It is fitting to me that it has rained the whole way back. I hate it when it's sunny out on the drive back—the sun just mocks my tears. It's nice that the weather is sympathetic today (and that I'm not the one driving). Anyway, if I seem a little petulant or somber this month, I thought you should know the reason. February is my month for new beginnings and optimism and January is my month to pout—just have to be different like that. You have been warned.

Job (the book, not an occupation)

Suffering. What does that word mean to you? Are you suffering right now? Have you suffered over the course of your life? I am reading through Job in my Bible study right now. The thoughts that are flying through my head right now! They must be expressed. I am hoping to make sense of them through this post. Please be patient if the thoughts are a little jumbled.

One of the most recent times of suffering my family has endured was the loss of a nephew. He was 4 months old and Ralph and I were on our honeymoon when it happened. That was suffering. My sis and BIL will forever be marked by this. In fact, in a positive way, I believe, it has changed/helped direct the path of their life.

Another suffering my family has gone through, was to walk with my dad's sister and family as her son slowly died of a "birth defect" from the age of 4 til about 9 (I think he was almost 10). That was a long hard road—as a teenager and college student I learned how to PRAY in ways I never would have. We then rejoiced with the family as they rescued two sibling groups from the foster system and brought them into our family. What amazing and beautiful people all of these "new" cousins are! Then we walked with them as my aunt's then husband walked away from the whole family and the Lord. This family has suffered. The loss of a son and brother was tough. The other kids have their individual burdens from the broken family units they came from. They were then brought into a "whole" family and introduced to the Lord and then it all fell apart. My aunt lost her husband of 19 years and was left with 7 kids. All the kids lost a father (he is not active in their lives currently). I would say in many ways they continue to suffer as they also strive to heal and live.

My husband's sister died suddenly in a car accident 4 months before I met him. She left behind a daughter who got caught in a terrible custody battle (that went on for several years) and lost a large part of her childhood in the process. She is a beautiful girl who is now settled and happy with Ralph's bro and SIL, but she has endured much and will be marked by her experiences forever. The family has suffered much through all of this and in some ways always will.

These are just a few of the ways that I and those I love have suffered. Every time I read Job it changes for me. I see and hear new things. I understand Job's wife SO much better than when I was younger. I can just imagine if we lost everything and then you added a serious illness that Ralph was suffering with. I might be tempted to say "Let's just end it—curse God so that He can strike us down and end all of this!" I pray that I have learned from her and from my sister and aunt and Ralph's parents and mine through all of these (plus those I didn't mention) situations and that I would be more like David. I do, however, understand where her statement comes from. I understand Job and his friends in ways I never did before. I feel more able to evaluate Job's statements than I did BEFORE. BEFORE I felt as if, "Who am I? He was a very godly man who went through unspeakable things. He gets to say whatever he wants in my opinion!" NOW, I see the whining. I see him glorify God and then say "but I'm going to whine anyway." I see his friends (as least in the beginning) as less judgmental than I remembered but more pushy and blunt than I think they should have been. Grief and suffering addles one's brain and makes a person very sensitive. I think they should have used more tact and silence. Don't talk so much to someone who is hurting so much!

I am only through chapter 10. I will read 11-14 today. If I have more to add, I'll let you know. ;-)

My sister's farm

My sister has this great farm in ND--it is the only house on her road, surrounded by pine trees. We had such a nice time visiting with them. We took a tour the first morning that we were there. Here are our the "landmarks" from our tour:
The outhouse (not in use)
The fire pit-during the summer it's a cozy little hollow surrounded by trees and leaves.
The tire swing she was so excited to have for the boys.
The pond--perfect for ice skating
I missed a big one, though. They have this neat spot they call "Sunset Road." Kim has gotten some of the most precious pics of Todd and the boys.
We had a good time of fellowship, played Loaded Questions and Apples To Apples, ate and laughed. Family is so precious.

I apologize

I apologize for my blogging absence. While in ND visiting my sister I got the worst stomach virus of my life! Well, this has set me back a bit. I am feeling much recovered. I am also very grateful for my sister and her husband's gracious hospitality and understanding. My sister had a similar bug over Christmas so was very sympathetic. The tough part was that my other sister and her family were also visiting there with us. It wasn't the fun hang out time I had been envisioning. We head back to OH tomorrow so I will have plenty of time to work on future blogs for you and catch up on my Bible study. Thank you for your patience.

Dinner for 6

As many of you know, there is nothing more dear to my heart than throwing a dinner party. So, when my cousin announced her engagement on Christmas Eve I began thinking, "THIS calls for a dinner party." The best part is that my bro and sis-in-law have this great apartment that just screams "Throw dinner parties here!" So we did. I planned the meal, Tif and I went shopping and then we cooked the meal together (while Bobby and Ralph played Xbox 360-with occasional pauses to help us out). We invited Holly and Adam (the cousin and fiancé) and tried to get Heidi (other cousin) to come but all those serious couples are very intimidating to an unattached college student apparently. We had a fine menu planned it consisted of :

• Tomato, Basil and Bacon Crostini's and Pomegranate Mocktinis
  
• Caesar Salad with Pizzetta's with Olive Tamponade and Provolone Cheese
  
• Carbonara
  
• Cheesy Garlic Bread
  
• Smores Pizza with homemade vanilla ice cream and hot fudge
  

 

The crostini recipe comes from this wonderful cookbook I found my first year living in Dayton. We love the cookbook and the crostini's! The Caesar dressing in that particular recipe was disappointing, no one liked the flavor. The presentation was a lot of fun, though! Carbonara, specifically Racheal Ray's is an old stand-by for Ralph and I, it's our go-to meal. The garlic bread recipe came from my mom and is a family favorite (as well as super easy). My bro and Tiff make really good homemade ice cream so obviously we had to have some of that!

It was a great night of food, conversation and fun! Bobby and Tiffany have such a great place for hosting and are great hosts themselves. Thanks for a wonderful night all!

Wild West

While driving out to my sister's farm in ND I was confronted with the often schizophrenic dichotomy that is my heart/desires. I love the wide open spaces in northern MN. I love the terrible isolation. I love the quaint, dated hotels and diners, the odd museums and historical sites (e.g. the "Wayside Chapel in Fosston, MN that is roughly the size of an outhouse, the Wild Game Museum near Bagely, MN, etc.). There are these great little towns with populations like 81. It makes me long to live out here (I'd love to be pop 82 and 83). I love the small quaint churches that still use hymnals, organs and pianos. All this from the girl that loves the fact Target, Trader Joes and Meijer are minutes from my house. I love hosting frequent parties and walking to my friends' houses. I love my large vibrant church with our band, young pastoral staff, and all the diverse personalities that come with a large population of people. I love that restaurants stay open past 10 p.m. and that I can get delivery until midnight on the weekends. If it weren't for my husband and the Lord I think my life would look a little bit like my parent's house when they bought it. The previous owner had started and stopped and changed multiple projects in the house. It's like he would see something and completely change the plan for the remodel and never finish anything. So I am now looking to live somewhere West and North with some of the conveniences of the East, not too rural but not too city, near family, near the mountains and a lake, in an old farmhouse with lots of original woodwork but with an open floor plan and it should resemble a log cabin, with lots of privacy and acreage but within walking distance of good friends. There should be good coffee shops and fun, eclectic shopping near-by. The grocery stores need to be stocked with local produce and whatever exotic food the new recipe I'm experimenting with calls for. There should be lots of snow in the winter but excellent snow removal people working 24 hours a day and warm balmy summers with no humidity. My husband is convinced I need therapy. I see nothing extreme in my desires. ;-p

It may be that what I truly desire is heaven and the all-consuming, ever present presence of the Lord satisfying my soul completely with Himself. Sometimes I think my inability to be completely satisfied has more to do with my looking for my heavenly home. This world is a nice place to visit but it's not home. Nothing solidifies that sentiment more deeply in my heart than thinking of all those that I love who have gone on before me. When I read these blogs and think of all they have lost and are going through and will continue to go through, my heart aches for a place with no more tears and no more sorrow. True contentment, I have come to believe, has more to do with longing for the Lord more than we long for anything else. My heart is more satisfied when I long for Him than when I focus on the strange inconsistent desires outlined above. My desire for 2008 is that I will be filled with longing for my Savior and that I will keep my eyes fixed on Him, the Author and Perfector of my faith.

Happy New Year!

So as I sit here with my dad watching the Rose Parade and drinking coffee, I can't help but praise the Lord for His goodness. I am right where I want to be at this time every year. My 29th birthday was yesterday and, as my husband is well aware, it is very important for me to be at home in MN for my birthday. It is truly a blessing that I can count on one hand (it's really only been 1 maybe 2) how many times I've had to stay in OH over the last 10 years on my birthday.
We had such a fun time last night celebrating my birthday. Unfortunately, my brother's girls were both sick so they stayed home. However my sister-in-law made this terrific cake. It was her first bundt cake and she did great! In our family, the birthday person gets to pick their meal, cake, ice cream, etc. We don't really do gifts, the meal is the gift. We've had some meals in our time too! Well this year I planned my meal around this cake. I knew I wanted cinnamon ice cream with it and then thought long and hard about what meal would go well with the cake and ice cream. I finally decided on roast. It was so good! We did it a little Italian style with Italian seasoned stewed tomatoes and some garlic, basil and thyme along with the potatoes, carrots, celery and onion. We also had this terrific garlic salad our family has been addicted to this week, blueberry cream muffins, and rhubarb muffins. My aunt made this wonderful raspberry salad as well. We had my aunt and her 7 kids, my cousin's fiance, and my great uncle all over to my parents house. We played XBOX games, Monopoly and Dance Praise 2. We love Dance Praise! Ralph and I picked it up for my aunt and cousins for Christmas and now my mom insists our family needs one. There is video to come--we just don't have the cords we need for our camera, but trust me we will load some! I don't really see birthdays as something to avoid. I think it has something to do with being a New Year's baby. It always seems to be a fresh start--a chance to evaluate the past year and look forward to the new. When I think back to the things God has brought me through, I don't really want to relive any of those things--I'm grateful for them in retrospect, but I want to move forward. Age is part of moving forward. It's also a challenge for me to retain my youthful enthusiasm and idealism and faith while balancing it with the wisdom, knowledge and experience the Lord has provided. As I head in to this new year both literally (2008) and next year of life, I have a few desires/goals. I want to become a mother, Lord willing, as I watch my siblings I definitely see that God's timing is best. I will wait on Him. I want to grow closer to Him this year and memorize more Scripture. I am committing to read the Bible chronologically this year with a group of women (and men) on-line. I want to honor the Lord with my body and take better care of His temple, my body. As I sign off for today, I pray "that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be ale to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-to the glory and praise of God." (Philippians 1:9-11)